Graduation Present...

I graduate with my associate's in Paralegal on June 1,2013 at Ford Field at 11:00am in Detroit, MI. This will clearly be the happiest day of my life next to seeing Drizzy in concert for the first time a couple years ago. Everybody keeps asking me what I want as a graduation present. The only thing I want is to meet Drake. Its been a long ride. For four years I have basically put my life on hold to take care of siblings and the fam around me. Thats cool and all but nobody really understands howw it feels to be 10 years old with 21 year old responsibility. At 10, I was taking care of a eight and three year and at the time, my own mother. My mother is an alcoholic. It's no secret. There's alot of deep seeded resentment and hurt that only I'm guessing liquor can cure. I want so bad for her to see what she has for a life, but that want seems like a dream now for 13 years and counting. I could have went out of state for college but decided to stay home and go to a community college. I mean really, who was gonna step in for my brothers and make sure they were ok? Sure, I had a fam that would, but for how long? I couldnt take that chance. Now, my brothers are 21 and 17. One has graduated from highschool and trying to find his next step in life and the other is on his way out of highschool as we speak. I am very proud of them but now that I have achieved something for myself, I have to live for me. After I graduate, I plan on interning and moving out of state. Its so time for a change. Change of scenry and change of perception. All I have ever seen is heartache, pain, and misery. For once, I'd just want to a genuwine happiness experience. I know seeing Drake would be that. I remember running home from school every Friday to catch Drake on Degrassi. I know people say they did this but I actually did!

Degrassi used to come on this network called Noggin which changed to "The-N". I use to have a countdown as to win the new episodes would come on, which was every Friday at 8 and back to back episodes sometimes on that day as well. You could tell me Drake wasn't a cutie pie. Star basketball player of the Degrassi basketball team and eventually Ashley (not her real name but a character on Degrassi) future boo. I can tell you every storyline dude was in. LOL. I know he probably wishes to burn those damn episodes but those were the only entertainment I had at the time. I looked forward to those episodes.

When he left Degrassi, I was still fascinated by the kid, so I'd google his real name and then I found out he rapped! Im like omg!!! That was right around the time he did a cameo for Trey in his video "Wonder Woman." Shortly, after that, he came out wit the mixtape Room For Improvement! I must of played that mixtape a thousand times. The rest after that was history...

I say all that to say this..he is an amazing artist and person to me. He still hangs with the same people he grew up with, he stills reps Toronto, and he still is humble. He's a bit on the cocky side but thats just him being sure of himself, at least thats what I take from it. If I had one wish, no RayJ intended, I would definately want to meet Drake in person as a graduation gift. He would make my day, year, shit, life! The dude I admire is everything and NOBODY is fuckin with dude. NOBODY!!

-Duchess

Challenges & Obstacles

Letting go is so hard. Emotionally its one of the biggest obstacles. You have to face
the fact that things that you once thought was so simple are now just smoke and mirrors. The most comfortable feeling is now the most foreign and even the most heartfelt confessions are now the most disgusting things you ever heard. Right now, that feeling is all too real. I have to let go. Let go of the off and on obstacle. Let go of the confusion and the fear of another. I have to let go because of the hurt that comes with it. If you dont let go..the situation becomes a bolder that sits on your shoulders, mind, heart, and body. Could I let that be? Could I weather that storm like so many? I don't think I can. Nothing should be this. Nothing should be a obstacle or a challenge. It should be a hurdle. But, this 'letting go', this is something that is a mountain. Everything you see reminds you of that obstacle. Music, tv, movies, EVERYTHING! Memories won't fade and neither will the girlfriend. Mind playing tricks when you alone and you hear the rain hit the window at night. Remembering when those nights became yall nights. Remembering when the happy moments were really that.

Could you let go of something you knew was right for you but that thing didn't? Could you walk away from something that made you happy but at the same time made you cringe?

How about reaching a new chapter in your life? Your graduating! You have a new job to get! Your lease is up soon! You have to move to a new place! You go back down memory lane with a old flame! Can it work this time? Do you let it go?

All the challenges & obstacles..one thing is clear. Its life and decisions are made every day. Choose wisely.

-Duchess

Morning Thought..!

I have finally decided that every morning, from now on, I'm going to share my thoughts for the morning. Afterall, thats the whole purpose of a blog is to express what you feel, right?

 

At 9:00 am, Eastern Time, right now,  I just got off work. As i sit in front of my laptop, I'm taking in every emotion and every thought. All glory goes to god for making this day and EVERY day an adventure and something to learn from. I thank him eternally for my love of music. It's my sanity next to writing. S/o to Drake for his music always allows me to go from a hurt place, to a reflective space, and also to happy space. Music is the reflection of the soul and I am honored to have an artist that reflects my soul with his gift. I just hope that humbleness stays with him as he still finds himself career wise and personally. Gotta love Drizzy...

Ok, so with all that being said....

 

HERE'S MY MORNING THOUGHT:  "Sometimes you just have to take a step back, breathe, and re-evaluate a situation. Don't let ppl knock you off your square and make u forget the bigger picture. Lets get money, lets get closer to god, and lets enjoy the time and days he gave us!" -Duchess ♥

Long Time No Hear...MIND ON DRIZZY!

I have been so focused on school and other crap, I completely forgot about my blog. Ok, so I seen Drake at the Grammy's looking absolutely AMAZING. My god. I mean, who ever he's dating, they need to really appreciate that man. Every lyric, Every hand gesture, Every smile. I KNOW I WOULD! He's an amazing artist who've I watched since 04' grow from an actor to business man. I am so proud of him. I support ANYTHING from him and will continue to do so as long as he stays true to himself. I can't wait for the new album. Take Care has been in my car since November 15,2011. I think it needs a rest. Skipping and all, i STILL play that album. Its a mellow, personal album. If i ever had a big dream, he would be it. Without question. --->*Sidenote* This pic was taken in Windsor in August of 2011! The best concert ever! He includes EVERYONE at his concerts which i love! I mean if im gonna spend at least 700 to a G on ticket, I at least wanna know that you appreciate it. He definately lets you know that! If you never been to a Drizzy show, plz, go! I remember in 05'/06' when I dreamed of seeing him in shows doing his thing, this when he was on Degrassi and he was jsut showing off his talent. Fast forward a couple years and look  what he's done! Not only is he successful, but he's doing it with so much passion and understanding of his fans. We need more artist like that. We need more people like that. People just don't care anymore which is sad. If you dont invest in people, your not promoting growth as a people, and thats real!.

-Duchess

Today...Not A Good Day

Today....Not A Good Day.

I have had one crappy day. It started with me waking up at 4 am to do a final that was due at 9am. This is nothing unsual. Every semester I do this. Its a tradition. I usually do really well under pressure. The part that sucked was I did all this work and at 8:00 my computer decides to turn black and not work. My printer decides it doesnt want to work. So, I had to turn in just my final that wasnt my best work. Then, Im late with having breakfast with grandmother who I never get to see hardly. Not to mention, I broke up with my boyfriend of seven months. He left me for his ex. Then I had a very important meeting turn into a total bust. I lost 750 bucks. Its just been on crappy day. I been listening to Drake all day. He makes it better i swear. Hopefully, things look up because this is some bullshit.

-Duchess

Its Been Awhile....

HEYYYY!!! It's been awhile!! Things have been crazy these past few months! Geesh! Anyhoo, as you can tell, I decided to start modeling. It's just a interest I have as of now and I'm riding with it until it isn't. I'm wondering if I should start putting more of my stories on here. Guess I'll ponder that over the next few days. In case you guys were wondering, yes I'm STILL Drake crazy! lol You know I'm copping the attire he has out as soon as it becomes available (WHICH IS NOW!!). I'm so happy he decided to come out with a clothing line! All them OVO heads, shoot we need to represent!

As far as my personal life is concerned, its still crazy. I need a reality show, seriously. My love life or lack their of is crazy as shit. My fam is CRAZIER and not to mention my career has become a little pain in the ass as of recently. So...Duchess is still Duchess and you'll have to stay tuned to the blog to get the whole scoop..!

Until then Babez..~!


                                     *Duchess

Just A Thought.....

I tend to love people genuwinely and I'm not sure if thats a good thing or a bad thing. If I call you a friend, I love you like you were the only friend I'll ever have. If I call you my brother or sister, I love you like your the only sister or brother I'll ever have. If your my boyfriend, I love you like you the only man on earth. Caring leaves you vulnerable to your enemies. Knowing this, shouldnt we all have our wall up? I don't think so. Living that way would not be called Living. When you live, you experience, you trust, you smile, you hurt, you disappoint, you live. You make yourself a better you. When you live, experiences can't be planned. Your experiences and situations mold your perception of life. So, if someone ever asked again, Is loving someone genuwinely a bad or good thing? I'll say, its the most beautiful, horrible experience that you have to experience yourself. There is no right or wrong answer. Love and live for you, never for anyone else.

-Duchess #1Love

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